Wednesday, October 26

Clueless, restless and ......

Hey there!
We meet again.
I guess I haven't written anything for quite some time.
However, driven by excessive caffeine in my system, I think I should transfer the  caffeine excitation to do something beneficial rather than wasting time.

Right, I am actually in the brink of a very important examination called BMAT. I am completely aware of how much more do I need to do for it however after drinking 5 packets of nescafe in 8 hours, I felt excited that it is hard for me to focus on one thing. Note-to-self: excessive caffeine is not good. It does not just keep you awake but disturb your attention span. Seriously, that is what I am feeling now. Anyway, it made me thinking. Do I really want to be a doctor?

I always get caught in this kind of situation where you are doubt of your own decision. Sometimes I really am intrigued to read medical literature. However, that stays true for 55% of my time. The rest goes to either watching anime, programming, studying non A-Level stuff or sleep. The moment when I think I do not feel the desire to pursue medicine is killing me really. Glad that it only happens once in a while. I guess 5 years of medical school later on will show my true path whether I am really suitable for medicine. Just wait for the time to reveal the real you.

Even though I have a clearly defined ambition of being a doctor with so many reasons for it, sometimes I feel restless. Couples up with restless leg syndrome which I think I am suffering now, I want to be a normal me. When I am trying to define a normal me, I am just clueless. For the treatment, I guess I have to go swimming this evening to unwind for a while but the problem is I have already wasted a lot of time doing BMAT-unrelated stuff. Syafiq, you should WAKE UP. BMAT is just around the corner. (ignore it if you are not me. Obviously, all of you readers are not me)

More dawdling. Stop if you bored. You will get more boring after this fullstop.

Haha. :P

Before I end up this not-so-productive post, I just want to outline few things that I have gone through before. (Since my sister just text me to update my blog). Maybe I tell more later on when this annoying muscle twitching all over my body has gone.

  1. I have just gone through an Oxford Mock Interview session with Mr Tony Finch, a mathematicians and Cambridge alumni.
  2. I have just finished my semester 3 examination.
  3. I gave a talk to SMS Rembau last Sunday. Everything turns out well especially the fact that I get to drive Gen 2 to Rembau. It is a wonderful experience driving that car.
You know what, I feel like I want to study in Newcastle University Medical School Malaysian Campus (NUMED). Seriously! Going oversea is very tiring.
Bye!

Just to tell you readers that I am definitely not losing confidence of myself. This is what I am feeling right now. So, do not assume that I do not want to go oversea. I never said that it is just my inclination now is towards studying in Malaysia. I have my own personal reason really but still the desire to go to UK is very high. Just hope that Allah gives the best opportunity for me not to just pursue medicine but also to pursue my other areas of interest at the same time.

じゃあまたね!

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Thursday, October 6

Lepas Geram

Ok. Since motif post hari ni nak lepaskan geram, maka saya beri amaran. Apa yang saya bakal tulis mungkin agak bias dan tidak semestinya memberikan gambaran umum tentang sesuatu perkara. Cukuplah sekadar anda mengetahui bahawa ini merupakan salah satu cebisan dalam pengalaman hidup saya yang sungguh kerdil ini.

Apa-apapun, perkara pertama yang menyebabkan saya stress tak tentu pasal ni adalah 'the fact that JPA did not recognised my fifth choice'. To some people, this might just be a small matter because they knew how I am dying to be a doctor. However, if you know me close enough you should know how much this choice means to me. This is indeed the turning point that I had purposely set up so that the decision will be made by the Almighty God. Now that I have been writing this, I think that Allah surely wants me to go directly through undergraduate medical school because everything happens with Allah's permission. Now that I realised it I feel much better. But looking back, I have a small regret for sure. However, do believe that Allah knows best.

Rasanya, itu sahaja kali ini. Title je mcm gempak tapi isi, kosong. Sori lah, terexaggerate over plak tyme intro td... Ye la! Bila fikir-fikir balik, something would not happen if Allah do not allows it to happen, kn? Mungkin Allah cuba tetapkan visi saya pada satu arah je kot. Mesti ada hikmah, Insya Allah...

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Tuesday, September 27

My current status!

Hey there!
It is today that I can rest assured of the initial stage of applying to Oxford. There are still more stages to endure but I believe the first step is something to get you started really. Frankly speaking, I kept changing my mind on my application. I constantly thought of dropping subjects, changing my university choices, worrying about what I should do in the last two semesters at KYUEM and above all worrying about my current achievements especially in topical class test. 

Well, the fluctuating stage of devising my own pathway to be a doctor has now ended. I have decided what I should and would do. It is now up to me to carry out the plan and this will require me to be persistent and determined.

Also, I was deeply inspired by Garnetronz' Video for 2011 Health Awareness Week which commences yesterday. I become stronger and more focused now. Thanks to all fellow garnetrons for your hard-work especially Afif and his crew. Seriously, your cinematography is awesome. So do the video for all other houses. KYUEM film industry has certainly upgraded into a higher level. I would be most glad to experience this.

Right, I would like to divide this topic into two sections. The first one involves the decisions I made today(the fluctuations I think is irrelevance now) and secondly what I would do for the next two semesters of my life in KYUEM. However, for today I will only write about the former one (because it is time consuming really and I really have to get some sheer amount of historical reading by tomorrow)

In terms of university choices, I did not make any amendments though at the verge of approving my application I consider on changing my college choice from St. Anne to Lady Margaret Hall on the account of one letter that I just noticed of its importance despite the fact that it had been pasted for ages. Nevertheless, the choices stick to my previous entry.

Furthermore, in terms of subject combination, I have undoubtedly decided to keep it to 4 which includes biology, chemistry, mathematics and history. Now that I have free block 5, life has becoming more easy on me but it is still very challenging and demands my utmost discipline. Anyway, I will do a re-evaluation once I have got all the response for all my choices.

In addition to that, there are 2 tests that I have recently completed which were UKCAT and IELTS. Alhamdulillah, I felt so much relieved after these two tests had over. Right now, the only entry test that I had to worry of is BMAT.

I think that is all for now. Looking forward for a better future now. All the best everyone!
Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Saturday, September 3

My university list

These are the universities which I put in my UCAS application form.

1. Oxford University
    Course: A100 Medicine
    College: St Anne's College

2. University of Liverpool
    Course: A100 Medicine

3. University of Southampton
    Course: A100 Medicine

4. University of Birmingham
    Course: A100 Medicine

5. University of Manchester
    Course: B144 Neuroscience with a modern language

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

The 'New' for all about anything?「新しいものか?」

Hi there!
Seriously, it has been a long time since I last wrote in my blog. 久しぶりですね! Actually, there are so many things happening since last July 25th...

Hari ini, tarikh 4 September. Bermakna sudah hampir 2 bulan, blog ini tidak dikemaskini. Banyak yang berlaku dan semuanya baik-baik belaka, Alhamdulillah.

Konsep baru telah diperolehi. Tujuan menulis blog ini juga makin jelas. Bukan sekadar merapu kosong tentang pengalaman saya yang tak berapa nak menarik ni. Tapi blog ini merupakan satu cara bagaimana saya ingin menyumbang kepada dunia. Mungkin bunyinya agak kelakar tapi saya rasa apalah gunanya pengalaman yang pelbagai kalau pengajarannya hanya untuk saya seorang. Insya Allah, mulai hari ini, saya adalah saya. Maksudnya, tiada lagi limitasi yang spesifik tentang bagaimana saya harus menulis blog. Biarlah segalanya datang dengan spontan. Huhu...

Berbalik kepada apa yang berlaku sepanjang 2 bulan ini, kesimpulannya, saya telah 'settled down' (tak tahu nak tulis apa dalam bahasa melayu). Semua urusan permohonan ke UK melalui UCAS telah saya selesaikan yang meliputi menulis personal statement, membuat pemilihan universiti dan paling penting merancang gerak kerja saya sepanjang semester ketiga saya di KYUEM. Alhamdulillah, Allah telah memudahkan semuanya. Cuma sekarang masih ada satu perkara yang masih bermain-main di fikiran saya, yakni tentang berapa banyak subjek yang saya nak jual kepada universiti, 4 atau 3. Subjek yang menjadi bahan perbincangan adalah sudah tentu 'history'.

Pertimbangan #1
Mengikut sejarah KY (sumber Pn Kasthuri Thilaga, University Relations Officer) kesemua pemohon Oxbridge yang berjaya mengambil 4 mata pelajaran. Tidak kisahlah bidang apa sekalipun. Tetapi apabila saya berbincang dengan beliau (Pn Kas) beliau tidak memberikan sebarang komen yang negatif tentang keputusan menawarkan hanya tiga subjek melainkan beliau berkata belum lagi dalam sejarah kolej pemohon Oxbridge yang hanya mengambil 3 mata pelajaran. Kesemuanya 4 dan ke atas.

Pertimbangan #2
Sebenarnya mengambil 4 subjek tidaklah seberat mana kerana saya yakin saya mampu melakukannya. Apa yang menjadi persoalan adalah adakah betul sekiranya saya meletakkan 4 subjek sebagai prioriti dalam meningkatkan nilai tambah permohonan saya? Atau lebih baik saya meletakkan prioriti pada subjek-subjek berkaitan perubatan seperti biologi dan kimia, serta melakukan pembacaan yang mendalam dalam kedua-dua subjek berkenaan? 

Pertimbangan #3
Subjek 'history' merupakan subjek yang sangat menarik untuk dipelajari. Serius saya katakan. Namun, bebanan kerjanya sangatlah banyak dan memerlukan saya memperuntukkan masa yang lebih berbanding subjek biologi dan kimia (berdasarkan pengalaman AS saya dahulu). Adakah kerana kesukaran yang main meningkat di tambah lagi dengan prioriti saya yang semakin berubah ke arah mendapatkan penempatan universiti di UK, saya mengorbankan subjek 'history' saya? Tambahan lagi, saya mempunyai satu lagi keperluan iaitu untuk belajar bahasa Jepun kerana saya telah memohon kursus neurosains dengan bahasa moden (bahasa Jepun) sebagai permohonan ke lima saya. Justeru, saya dimestikan untuk mempunyai kemahiran yang sekurang-kurangnya setaraf dengan JLPT level 4. Itu tidak banyak masalah kerana saya telah lama mempelajari bahasa Jepun. Nanti saya akan ceritakan bagaimana saya belajar bahasa Jepun ye dalam entri-entri yang akan datang.

Maka, ketiga-tiga pertimbangan ini datang serentak untuk mewarnai kehidupan saya tika ini. Cewah! Dramatik la pulak. OK. Ikut kata hati, ada dua. Akhir Ogos hari itu, saya rasa sayang sangat nak lepaskan subjek 'history' ni. Tapi bila dah sampai kolej semalam malam, hati rasa ingin melepaskan subjek 'history' ini.

Perubahan ini banyak perangsangnya. Cerita-cerita berunsur medikal yang saya sedut daripada 'my doctor sister' seperti 'team medical dragon', 'voice', surgeon Bong Dal Hee dan etc memberikan saya satu persepsi baru terhadap dunia perubatan. Saya semakin nampak betapa pentingnya saya menjadi seorang doktor yang kompeten, berkeyakinan tinggi, semangat mahu belajar yang tinggi, tidak takut dalam melontarkan idea dan juga kekuatan mental dan fizikal untuk menghadapi cabaran sebagai seorang doktor. Kata kuncinya di sini, kompetensi. Saya pecahkan kompetensi kepada beberapa bahagian iaitu, kemahiran saintifik, kemahiran klinikal dan kemahiran berkomunikasi. 

Justeru, saya lihat mempelajari 'histori' tidak membantu saya dalam meningkatkan kemahiran saintifik, dan klinikal. Mungkin ada dari segi kemahiran yang boleh dipindahkan (transfferable skills) seperti kemahiran membuat gambaran menyeluruh terhadap sesuatu perkara berdasarkan sumber yang banyak dan pelbagai, membuat pemilihan yang tepat terhadap fakta-fakta yang perlu saya mahirkan. Namun, saya rasa cukuplah sekadar apa yang telah saya perolehi sepanjang pembelajaran AS History. Impian saya sejak dahulu lagi iaitu ingin fasih dalam bertutur pelbagai bahasa termasuklah bahasa Arab, Cina, Jepun, Korea dan sebagainya (sejak zaman sekolah di SBPI Selandar. Ramai yang tidak tahu dan sedar kerana saya tersangatlah introvert bila bercerita tentang perihal ni). Selepas SPM entah ke mana hilangnya semua ini. Mungkin di sebabkan faktor keadaan mindset saya yang tidak sihat ketika itu (ada masa saya cerita lain kali), saya membuat keputusan yang bukanlah tidak tepat tetapi masih ada perasaan 'regret'. 

Saya tidak mahu mempunyai regret lagi dalam usaha saya mencapai cita-cita saya menjadi seorang doktor yang professional dan mukmin. Pada saat ini, saya sememangnya bercadang hendak menggugurkan subjek 'history' kerana pada pendapat saya biarlah tindakan saya di dorong oleh apa yang saya kehendaki. Namun, saya juga sedar tidak semua yang saya kehendaki boleh diperoleh kerana apa yang baik pada pandangan saya belum tentu lagi baik pada pandangan Allah. Jadi, saya masih lagi berdoa agar Allah memudahkan saya membuat keputusan. Perbincangan dengan parent pun sudah dilakukan. Bagi mereka, bergantunglah kepada saya untuk membuat keputusan. Saya perlu memutuskan dengan pantas. Insya Allah dalam beberapa hari lagi, segalanya kan terjawab.

Komen saya:
Sangat akademik kan penulisan ini. Betulkan niat balik, blog ini adalah untuk saya sebenarnya. Tidak perlu hipokrit untuk menarik perhatian pembaca. Biarlah saya menjadi saya. Kalau anda tidak suka atau tidak berminat, tidak perlu teruskan pembacaan ye. Tunggulah saatnya apabila saya telah bersedia menulis untuk pembaca. Buat masa ini, belum lagi.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Monday, July 25

「Bangsawan」の気分

Hey there!
Seriously, it has been a significant three weeks since I last write a post. I have been tremendously occupied with  a lot of activities ranging from UKCAT test, writing personal statement, preparing for MABECS workshop, doing homework to fancy stuff like Bangsawan. Though I don't really fancy a theater, the opportunity to get involved in one of the biggest Garnet production excites me. It excites me, not because the fact that I love this sort of thing, but because of the bonding being build between all Garnet members batch 13.0, 13.5 and 14.0. This is indeed a great opportunity for me to know a great deal of people.

Anyway, I am very sleepy this morning. I want to go back to sleep after Subuh prayer but the fact that I am having class this morning prevents me from doing so and hence this post. I have nothing else to say about Bangsawan. All that I could conclude, it is really exciting and tiring.

Moving on,
I think maybe I should give a glimpse on my application cycle. Currently, I am in stage 1: writing personal statement (PS). I have started writing PS since holiday but only last two weeks, at college I am able to complete it. I have done several draft since then and I have encounter several experience. Let me share one for today so that you reader can make a note of it especially those who are also in the stage of writing PS.

Experience #1:
I have sent a copy of my first draft of personal statement to Mr Brookes, my history teacher. The reason for doing so is because I knew he is direct and insensitive so that I can get a picture of possible reaction by a British. Well, the reaction is he mad at me, not personally of course. He pointed out grammar mistakes I had made, and wrote a very long note at the back of my PS saying how I should structure my PS. This is his suggestion  Answer these three questions in three separate paragraphs and a make a very convincing direct statement out of it. The motive is not to impress but to communicate.

1. Why do you want to study ____ at university?
2. Why would you make a good student of _____?
3. What else can you offer the university?
 However, there are few problems with his suggestion that made me difficult to accept it at face value, though I did incorporated some of his suggestion in my latest PS and it sounds better. The problems arise not because the fact that he is a British or any sort of prejudice but because of contradiction from my own knowledge. I would clarify it in other post but let me just list the problems.
Here are the problems:
1. He is not quite experience in medical school application since he did not teach very much medical student (It's history after all. Most medical student-to-be don't take this.).
2. His comment seems very general. He put a blank instead of medicine which makes me assume that he is assuming that medical application process is just the same as other application. I'm not being prejudice but studying medicine is not just about studying medical sciences alone but involves working with people. It is rare for situation where a graduate from medical school become something other than doctor like a businessman, lawyer, or anything whereas for other courses like engineering, accounting, economics etc, it is common to see people working in the field that they haven't studied in university.
What I am saying is not to distrust him but just to limit the faith I am putting into him, in terms of PS of course. In terms of history, he is indeed a very good teacher. I think that is it for now. Until we meet again next time.
Bye!
さようなら!!

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Thursday, July 7

UKCAT mode. 今はUKCATの気分だ。

Hey there!
Today is a very special day for two things. First, it is my first time surfing internet from my iPhone by subscribing to celcom daily broadband. Secondly, I am in a very awkward position of seating by the stairs of Wisma UOA with everyone looking at me suspiciously because my entry into the University of Sheffield Malaysian Office has not yet being allowed-not until 9.00 am. But, I don't care. As long as I'm blogging, i'll be fine for now. Let us get back to business.

I think I'm ready. But at the same time still worried. Did my preparation enough for me to score a high marks for UKCAT? I'm not sure. All I have right now is the gut to believe in Allah and myself. It really is an aptitude test. There's not much a point 'kiasu'ing like hell but you can't even solve problems when the real thing happens. Therefore, i always Imagine a test to be like a real case. I had to undoubtedly face the unexpected, cope with panic, recognise the need to consider every aspects involved and most importantly solve the problems immediately as fast as I could. Soon after, I had to learn to bear the consequences of my action. That's the most important. I'm not denying the fact that it is essential to have a solid foundation and thorough preparation. That's how I train myself. That way I can enjoy my free time to the fullest without any regret.

That is it for now. I better get going. The test gong to start soon. All the best, Dr Syafiq! You can do it. :p

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Thursday, June 16

End of sem......

Hey there!
It has been quite some time since my last post. At the moment of writing this post, I've just come back from End-Of-Sem Dinner. It is pleasure to know that holiday is just around the corner. However, the prospect of getting a place in Oxford made me rethink that. I have tons of things to do this 3-week holiday including, UKCAT, personal statement, and English. Therefore, a productive holiday is not just a must but essential. Wish me a good productive holiday.

While I am in front of my lappie, writing and thinking, suddenly,...

Knock! Knock!
Syafiq, please collect these debts. (handling me two piece of papers with a list of debts to collect by tonight.)
I guess, I have to complete this task first other than completing two meeting minutes and two-page biology homework.

I'll tell more about my life these past 2 weeks in more details later on. Anyway, have a good holiday everyone.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Saturday, June 4

King's birthday and me

Hey there!
It is the King's birthday and for the first time in my life, I appreciates this holiday because actually I have class today. Because of the king, I get extra holiday. Alhamdulillah.
Date: 6th of June, 2011 「6月4日」
Day: Saturday 「土曜日」
Here is what I did today. Going back to sleep after performing Subuh prayer and missing breakfast. Wake up at 9.00 a.m. and watched Hana yori dango 「花より男子」. After finishing 1 episode, continue sleeping.

Wake up again for the second time and read 'Eragon' by Christopher Paolini. Bring back my old memories of novel marathon at Sisme with Ijam, Haizeer and Siti Nadiah. Pondering how time does fly away.

After some time, get back to study table. Arrange the plan for today. Aimed to do at least 8 set of past year papers despite the fact that I am going to pasar malam at 5.00 pm and at the time of writing, I just managed to complete 1 set.

And yet still thinking of writing this blog. Had two more tasks to accomplish by 12.00 pm - UKCAT and personal statements planning. 

Gorged with so many tasks to do, decided to take it easy on the King's birthday. So, I am just going to stick to 8 past papers for today. Let us put UKCAT and personal statement to a later day.

While doing al these stuffs, I really missed weekends at Sisme where I spend all available free time sleeping, talking, gossiping, making conspiracy and playing with my friends. The situations here are just different.

Everyone are doing their own thing. It is hard to find anyone who get along well with me. What I want to do is not necessarily what they want to do. I love the school days where there are seasons for almost everything. Rubics cube, novel marathon, badminton games, tennis etc. 

I am not saying that there is no such facilities here nor I am not grateful for what I already have, It just hard for me to find friends as in Sisme where I can comfortably talk about anything. Here, everyone seems like pursuing their own personal space. Judging by their body language, I can simply say that though it is not applicable to everyone especially my Malay friends. I am not being racist but it is the truth. Regardless of that, I have a few good Chinese friends and they are really nice.

I have many good friends too. I am glad that at least I get along very well with all Garnet members. At least, when I am bored I can simple colonise their room and making lots of noise. 

In my chalet, I hardly can do much noise because my chalet mates are like silence keeper. They really are. When there is a noise, there will be some kind of annoying sound of walls being knocked repeatedly. Why don't you just at least say something. It really makes me annoyed but I will not care because you have not make it clear with me what do you want. If you want complete silence, then talk and confront me and absolutely not by doing that annoyed sound.

Anyway, I should just adapt to the new surroundings. Only those who can adapt survives, according to Mr Charles Darwin I guess. Therefore, I choose to go out to Tanjung Malim with Shauqi, Nazrin Sabah and Nazrin Afifi. At least, I get to spend some time with frineds. Most of my JPA mates are struggling in their own room either 'kiasu'ing or sleeping or watching movies or anything. I do not want to disturb them. Let just give them some personal space.

This is what I realised about people. Everyone wants their own personal space. As for me, I am quite comfortable of sharing what I feel, what I did and why to peoples. But of course not to everyone but to my families and friends. But the peoples here are different. You can't just simply interrogate deeper into their actions. At some points, they will stop entertaining your question if it gets too personal. They only share when they feel they want to. In simple words, liberty. Is that so?

Actually, this is a real case scenarion. In my first sem, I got some kind of problem with this one guy. I just barely know him but I was close to him and so I ask him a lot of questions thet he got annoyed with me. Since that time he start spacing out from me. After a few moment, I realised I should not do this and this is how I caught a glimpse on the notion of personal space. 

Also, I might be wrong about this but this is what I can infer when I watched tons of movies and dramas. This is not a life-experience so do not take it seriously. I will know better when I am in UK later. For the time being, in order to adapt well with people you should respect their personal space and their difference. At a point when they are ready to be open to you than that is the right time fro you to nurture him. I am saying this in terms of 'dakwah'.

Psychologically speaking, my study is not so reliable because there are just merely my own opinion and not a real study. Credits to Safuan Sabri for enriching the pschological aspects of me.

The more I think, the more I belive that Sisme is so different than this. There is no such problem like personal space. Perhaps the reason for that is the fact that everyone are used to share everything in the hostel. 

This a lesson of life only learnt through experience. Sisme experience will always be a wonderful one and I am always comfortable to talk to ex-SBPIS. I hope that I can see my friends back in Sisme. I really missed them.

But life has to go on. Friends are like sand in the beach. You have so many of them but you have to choose the best sand out of millions. It is always good to befriend everyone but do not let them influence you in a bad way. This is what makes human such a unique species.
Move on, shall we!
じゃね!

Extra note:
I am planning to enter this essay competition where I have to write a maximum of 5,000 words essay with no lower limit to discuss about 'Is human species special?' Feel free to join if you want to. Further details can be obtained here. The deadline is 30th of June, 2011.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Friday, June 3

Biology Mood「生物学の気分」

Hey there!
I have only 1 paper left before I ends my first year of A-Level. Time flies, isn't it? 1 year is just too short to be true.

Anyway, I am here to share that I am totally in absolute bio mood. Why is that the case? The reason is not just because of what I did and will I do for this last paper, but because of the fact that I have finally in a position to study the REAL thing in biology that has a lot or parallels to medicine. Also, something that is not just a mere repetition of SPM but completely new and different in a way that favours me, emphasising my passion. Although the AS Biology topics are much deeper than SPM, I felt like there are not much difference between SPM and A-Level in terms of what I am studying.

But now, the circumstance changes. The A2 topics are far more interesting than the AS topics, obviously, though I still regard 'Transport', 'Human Gas Exchange System' and 'Infectious Diseases' as something interesting. Enough with that.

Right now also, I have just finished doing some preliminary readings on respiration and seriously I like it a lot. The way I used to think how energy in a glucose molecule being harnessed to produce ATP, completely shifts. The process is not just a single step where you get all 38 ATP molecules at once. Instead it is a combination of plethora of reactions pathway characterised into three main categories which are glycolysis, Krebs cycle and electron transfer chain. That is totally not the main point though.

However, it is not just entirely about respiration that I am promoted into a slightly higher energy level tonight  (It means I am excited, think biologically will you!), it is the fact that I have successfully draw a starting line between leisure and works that promotes me into a higher energy level, like a sunlight that gives a boost of energy to the electrons, though it is still in dire needs of more reinforcement. Nevertheless, I achieved the bottom line - making progress.

In toto, in order to be in the peace of mind without jeopardising your future is to plan work swiftly but wisely and work out the plan seriously. Insya Allah, a proper line will be drawn between all the necessary and desired things to achieve personal goals without any failure.

I think, that's all for now. Have a productive weekend everyone, Insya Allah. 
じゃ
またね

Note-to-self:
My A2 chemistry teacher is Miss Aqilah. I hope I'll cope well with her. Insya Allah.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Thursday, June 2

Chemistry aftermath!

Hey there!
I have just finished my chemistry paper1. Seriously, it was very tough. I am glad that I am not totally blank because at least I got the ideas to answer the questions. The thing that worries me most is that I do not have the gut to say that I am over it. Never mind. Leave everything to the most superior to decide for us, Allah.

Another 5 days and I will be facing my last opponent, biology paper 1. It sounds easy but I shall never underestimate my opponent. Also a little bit of overestimation will be fine as long as I do not lose the  confidence. Insya Allah.

I reckon that the path of becoming a doctor is never easy. It just me underrating everything relating to it so that it seems easy to acquire. The truth is it is terribly difficult. Seriously. Not because the fact that it is impossible. But because of the notion that you have to encounter so much obstacles along the way in a way that you need to be aggressive in order to keep winning. Be it you yourselves, people around you or even the circumstances. Everything will become a barrier sooner or later.

6 years. Just as long as a kindergarten student needs to get into a secondary school. During that long time, everything can happens. It is up to me to do what is necessary to ensure that I reach my aims be it the short term or the long term. I always said that I want to help others. But I am just being idealistic and not pragmatic enough. Therefore, in order to be able to help others I have to first nurture myself into something good enough to help others.

However, I have been wasting a lot of time doing unnecessary things. I admit it. As a teenager, that is a norm, I think. In fact I have only 10 months left of being 19. I see the need to do all sort of thing for many purposes but I lack the energy. Insya Allah, by discussing about this, something amazing will pops into my mind. It reminds me of 'the 7 habits' promoted by Stephen Covey - something that I learnt from Muslim Leadership Camp last April where I lost my very own spectacle. I am not just doing things to succeed alone but to bring everyone I could towards a better prospect of life. Also, to a level where everyone is interdependent between each other.

It is therefore very important to be conscious of many aspects of our lives. At least, that is what I am aiming to nurture in KYUEM for another year before being put into the real scenario of living on my own in UK/Ireland. Let us change our paradigm for the better. As for me, I am completely aware that there are still a lot of things to work on. No matter what, the bottom line is to enjoy what you are doing.

For that reason, I am very delightful to hear the 'Indonesian news'.
To my younger sister who is going to study in Indonesia this August. Do your best. Deep inside me, I know you can in fact even better than me. The problem is you are too dependent on others. I might not be in the right position to tell you this but trust me, always do self-reflection. The path towards self-improvement will be revealed. If you need any help, please note that you have everyone around you to ask for.

がんばってね!
じゃね!

Note-to-self:
I have been talking a lot but the real thing is I am in the same position as everyone. There are lot of things in life to endure. Also, mistakes to be made and learnt from it. Do not afraid of falling down. But afraid of not being able to get up after falling down. Life has to go on. So, move on! Shall we! Insya Allah. Everything will be just fine.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Chemistry Mood!! 「化学の気分」

Hey there!
Another one and a half hour, I'm going to sit for my chemistry paper 1 examination and yet I'm still in front of my computer writing this post. I just need a moment to write for a break.

I've just learned few things that I should have learned long time ago, balancing a redox reaction equation using oxidation number. This makes me pondering. Why now? Why not before? Maybe I haven't done enough exercise. This is something to be watched next time around. Note-to-self, do thorough preparation from the beginning of the course. Nevertheless, I'm glad that I found these kind of unique things in my exercise. At least, I won't be surprised in the exam. However, I have to prepare for the worst since CIE likes surprises. Therefore, the most important thing for me to be able to do very well is to handle surprises. That requires a more detailed and thorough preparations, something that seems to be similar to doing a lot of exercises but with a different approach in mind.

This is what I want to share with you readers. Life is full of surprises. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do or sometimes you don't even like in the first place. That is the challenge. So, face surprises with a lot of smiles and believe in yourself. Insya Allah, you will be just fine. Most importantly, always pray to Allah may He grant us the ability to handle surprises successfully and with ease. Insya Allah.
じゃ。
がんばってね!!

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
化学-chemistry
気分-mood

Wednesday, June 1

ただいま「I'm home」

Hey there!
Right now, I have another two papers to go which include chemistry paper 1 and biology paper 1. Chemistry will be tomorrow while biology will be next Tuesday. Up to this point, I think I wasted quite a considerable amount of time doing unnecessary things. I really hope that I can get the same momentum as in SPM. I don't know what took it away from me but I do know that I had to work harder in order to get it back.

Anyway, I'm back in college with a brand new 'me' and a refreshed mind. I am not intended to write long this time. Let the spirit of 'kiasu' and 'tawakkal' overwhelmed ourselves these last days of the AS examination.

Exams Fixture
Thursday (2nd of June 2011) ==> Chemistry Paper 1
Tuesday (7th of June 2011) ==> Biology Paper 1
AS ends and A2 will then kicks in
ASが終わる。そしてA2が始める。


私は「一リットルの涙」という映画を見る。
だから罪「つみ」です。
なぜなら明日は化学の試験だ。
でもあきらめてをいけない。
がんばりますよ!
自分を信じましょうか!
じゃ


Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Thursday, May 26

Remarks on statistics

Hey there!
When you reading this, I'm probably in Chemistry Lab 2 doing my paper 3. So pray for me that I am doing the right thing.

Statistics, as usual is always something unexpected. I knew that from the day I studied permutation and combination last October. Ignore that. Today's statistics paper is really challenging. I'm glad that at least I could answer all of them.

The problem is I am not 100% sure of my answer. That's what makes statistics really challenging. You know it is right but at times it isn't. Even though I have put in  a lot of thought on the questions from every possible point of view, I could only gained 75% confidence. The rest, I doubt my choice of method.

Method wise, I'm not so concern about it. It is the choice of method that bothers me a lot. That agonising thought overwhelmed me these past 3 hours before my chemistry practicals. I have to forget it for a while, for the sake of my next exam.

Regardless of what I answer, right now the only thing that I could do is to trust my instinct and my judgement. I think it is the best thing to do. Insya Allah. May Allah be with me in my decisions and judgement.

That's it for now.
じゃあ。

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^)
私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
化学が好きだ。数学も好きだ。でも。。。。

Wednesday, May 25

Obsession vs Interest vs Need Part 2

Hey there!
You readers must be wondering why all of a sudden I change the appearance of my blog. Well, that's not the point I am going to make today. Let just save it for another day.

Let us now continue with the need. It changes depending on the current situation and your observation.
For instance, in a society where there are many people who have so much doubt on the 'halal' status, it is essential for me to occupy this vacant by being a food technologist or food producer or something.
(Just an example. Doesn't mean that I am changing my mind to something other than medicine.)

If I do not choose to be any one of these, will these problems resolved? Definitely not. It is about thinking big, for the benefit of every single person in a society. In a way, it has many parallels with 'فرض الكفاية'.

Putting these three terms in context, I could now proceed to the argument. The choice of career. What is the most important factor to consider out of these three options? For me, it must definitely be something in between interest and need.
Why not obsession? Isn't it suppose to be obsession? So that you can have all the energy to focus on one particular field? 
Well, it is worth taking note of the temporary nature of obsession. This, however, doesn't mean that you can't do what you enjoy most. I'm just saying that you can't bring your obsession to the extent of making it as a career. Clear enough?
Interest and need, in the other hand, are far more stable than obsession. You got to work for maybe 30 to 40 years and it is very important to choose something that self-sustained. You know why you work for. You know how to not feeling down when you are feeling down. Even if you don't know, you will definitely want to find a way of how to do it.
To make it short, it contains the driving factor. The one that keeps your motivation to the highest possible level.  والله أعْلم

For me, the reason why I want to be a doctor is not just because I am fascinated in the science of human being. That is absolutely true. But also I want to contribute towards improving the efficiency of Malaysian Healthcare system. I know that it is improving even without me in it.
But I want to change it in a way like what previous muslim scholars did like Ibnu Sina and Al-Razi. It's not about how they do things in the past. Its the spirit that I want to include in the healthcare. How they able to master in many field other than medicine. Something that is lacking in our societies, presumably.
For that reason too, I want to become masters in many field, not just medicine but islamic revealed knowledge, languages, arts and even music. The reason for that is not to gain names or awards or noble prize. I'm just holding this kind of thought that with knowledge, we became closer to Allah.
That's it. It may sounds to ideological but I'm going to be someone like Lenin in the way that change Marxism into something more practical. Now it is the matter of doing things.
I might make mistakes along the way but it is not something to be afraid of. It is something to learn.
Also, this is the reason why I want to study in Oxford University as it gives me greater opportunity to indulge in many different things. The problem is how do I put this into words to people? NVM save this for another post.

Note-to-self:
1. Done with fundamental reason for choosing medicine. Let us then considers it in more details.
2. Statistics is just tomorrow. Be prepared mentally and physically and make sure to think it through logically and be extra careful. I know you can do it.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
明日数学と化学の試験が始める。そして成功に向かおうぞ。君も!

Tuesday, May 24

Advanced Biology Practical Examination 生物の試験

Hi there!
Again....
I've noticed some general pattern on my blog.
It's like writing a textbook or something.I hope in the first place it would be my memoirs of school life but it seems to me that it is not. (Just like what great leadersaround the world did from the 18th century. Should I write things more informal?
That something I should improve on, I guess.

For today, I've just finished with my biology practical paper. I was completely satisfied with it though I am not very sure with my drawing of xylem thickening. Before I continue any further, I would like to remind you readers, especially the one who noticed how fast I updated my blog this morning to stop reading up to this point because I know you did not want to discuss any of the questions any more. However, it is up to you.

I felt like I am some kind of botanist and that kind of feeling was awesome. This is one of the reasons why I like biology so much. I was given a piece of information which included several plant activities on summer, spring and winter. Frankly speaking, I haven't thought of this before. Four samples are taken from the root and phloem sap of one particular (not specified in the exam) plant in these seasons. The task was to identify which sample belongs to which part of the plant. So, I had to design tests to identify if there were any starch, sucrose and glucose.

That was the first question. The second question is far more interesting. We were given a piece of an organ of a plant. From its appearance, I suspected it is some kind of storage leaves. Then we had to cut a section that would enable us to see under the microscope for sure, the different thickening in the xylem. Then we had to draw them. That was the question. Enough with this academic stuff.

The point here is, we will always encounter something we do not really know or something we briefly know especially for career as a doctor. During my attachment, I managed to talk to this one IMU student. He is in his 3rd year of MBBS and presumably is on his clinical study. He said that the case that he is presented does not necessarily something they had already studied in real depth. As far as exam is concerned, they could ask you anything under the sun as long as it has relevance to the area being studied even if the overlap is just 1%. So, the secret is we must able to dissect the presented problems into smaller volumes that we could solve it one-by-one. Sounds idealistic isn't it? But it is worth the hassle.

For that reason, I have started pondering on the possibility of choosing universities whose approach is problem-based learning such as University of Manchester or University of Liverpool. However, the real thing is even if the programme is traditional or module-based, there will always an element of PBL. My conclusion at this point is that all universities are just equal. Doesn't matter whether you study at Harvard Medical School or Brighton-Sussex Medical School, as long as it has been recognised by PSD, we will do just fine. More importantly, we ourselves. How do we adapt with the rapid advancement? That is a question that only we ourselves can answer it.

However, we should also take notes of our human sides. Some of us prefer to study in top notch university just because they sounds great and refuse to do so if they get low class universities. I am talking this based on my experience. There is no need for me to publicly say it because in the end it depends on individuals. Also, some prefers to study in the country side because it is more peaceful. There is never a right or wrong answer to this question.

The only thing that I want to emphasise is the end point. As long as we kept our intention of studying for the sake of Allah it would be just fine. What does that mean? Perhaps the acquisition of knowledge is one of the ways to be close to Allah but never confine ourselves to just one way of thinking. Consider everything and decide on which one suits your circumstances. Also, this means that we have to be a competent doctor not just one who do things half-heartedly so that our efforts are insignificant. It is true that we do not expect for praise. But it is also important to give the best quality service.

To sum up everything, I know the title does not really suits what I am writing now but this is just something from my point of view. If It is wrong, do correct it.

Note-to-self:
1. I want to indulge in something new after this, writing a short story.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Obsession vs Interest vs Need

Hey there!
The reason why I am writing this entry is to prevent myself from sleeping in the morning.
I knew that I sort of ruining my daily routine by keeping on sleeping late and also sleep after subuh.
Truly, it is bad for you especially in nurturing your motivation.

The point that I am going to make this morning is something about obsession, interest and Need. Are they the same thing? Let us define these three terms first. According to Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary 8th Edition, obsession is a state in which a person's mind is completely filled with thoughts of one particular thing or person in a way that is not normal. Interest is the feeling that you have when you want to know or learn more about something or somebody. Need is a strong feeling that you want something or a situation in which something is necessary or must be done.

To make it example, obsession and interest are quite similar and both contradicts with need. However, in deciding future career, which one is the most important factors? Of course, most of us would say interest. Is that justified?

Let us examine these three factors in more details. Obsession is definitely a stronger sense of interest in which someone is completely overwhelmed with something or somebody. Is that a healthy way of life? To be frank, obsession is just seasonal. You may like k-pop so much now but for the next few years, are you still going to like it? Not necessarily. Even a single song that you like to hear everyday and night would be bored sooner or later. The fact is everything in the world is temporary.

Is the same case applies to interest? In a way that you have a passion for something, yes. But the different thing about interest is the extent to which it passions something. For instance, you have so much interest in writing that you never get bored doing it your entire life. For me, I see interest as something sustainable, not just by itself but you yourself because you always want to do it no matter how much you have already done it. Also, it does not occupy most of your daily routine but it remains significant in your life. When thinking of myself, I definitely have a lot of obsession and interest, something that at the being, I don't want to share with you, readers. Let those who observe knows.

Anyway, I am thinking of getting rid of all of my unhealthy obsession and choose the beneficial one to convert it into interest so that I can live a meaningful life. This notion in a sense is parallel to the need. In my current circumstances, what is the need?

Its already 8.00 o'clock in the morning and I better get my breakfast before the dining hall close. Therefore, I will continue the discussion on obsession, interest and need in the next post. Also, I am going to sit for biology practical examination at 11.00 this morning. Wish me luck too.

Note-to-self:
1. You have reach your 10-minute limit. So stop typing now.
2. Get rid of unnecessary routine.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
強迫観念「きょうはくかんえん」obsession
金利 「きんり」interest
必要「ひつよう」need

Monday, May 23

PBL

Hey there!
Again, it is me.
Right now, I'm in a very good mood because of few things I did few hours ago.
Now I knew, in order to survive we must be aggressive. Well, that would be my approach from now onwards. What is PBL get to do with aggressiveness?

My definition for aggressiveness is something like being proactive. PBL is a part of that. Therefore, that is what I am going to apply in my A-Level study and also my self-study. So, what is PBL?

PBL stands for problem-based learning. It means from a given problem, we should dissect it into many small parts and then work it out from there and create a bigger picture out of that.

For example, suppose there is a 50-year-old lady with a background of Perthes disease and multiple bilateral hip revisions presented with symptoms of right hip pain. This is just a part of the problem. Let us now dissect it.

First, we need to know what is Perthes disease and multiple bilateral hip revisions. Start with looking the dictionary. Secondly, look on relevant anatomical structures. Study them thoroughly. Then look at physiological process associated with these two abnormalities and note what should happen in the first place. Done with that, proceed with treatment and finally drugs and their pharmacokinetics.

This is just a basic outline of what PBL is according to my understanding. Credits to Dr. Nadiah. The best thing about PBL is that it keeps my interest because there are many terms which I do not understand. Therefore, I am more tempted to find out about them rather than to be informed about these difficult terms.

Alhamdulillah, this exam reveals my true side. I realised how passionate I am towards medicine. Therefore, I will do whatever I can to make full use of this. My next project is something about the pre-med club. To be exact, I want to indulge in more volunteering works. Who want to join me? Do tell me ok so that we can plan it together. I am done for now. Bye.

Note-for-self:
1. Start reading medical stuff from now on.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
私は医者になりたい。これから成功へすすめ。

Sunday, May 22

Finally「やっと」

     As the title suggests, finally I had something to write about in this post. These past few days, I have been busy with my exam and still the case for the next three weeks. On the first week, P1 kicked off with little drag, I suppose. Then, the sandwich began. Thanks to KD for introducing this term. Basically, it means three papers in a row. Starting with chemistry paper 2 on Monday, Modern European History on Tuesday, and Biology paper 2 on Wednesday. However, the friction is greater than P1. Nevertheless, life moves on as usual but more intense with me spending most of my time in the room.

     Also, I realised many things about myself and my career during this sandwich. The kind of pressure I am in reminds me of my future career. Would it be this hard? Yes, it is hard in fact harder than what I am enduring now. Therefore, I start questioning my intention to be a doctor. Are you up for the job? Fortunately for me, I still feel the same feeling. Indeed, I want to be a doctor and to be exact, a neurosurgeon. At this point, second question overwhelmed my thoughts. How do I fit myself into one of the competitive medical school and specifically Oxford Medical School? The more I think, the more my mind tends towards passion in medicine. In fact, when Mr Brookes was demoralising the Oxbridge applicants who are thinking of applying PPE, Law etc., I realised I should do something to show how passionate I am in medicine.

     Some people asked me, "Why do you want to go to Oxford? Why not Cambridge? Isn't it easier to apply to Cambridge rather than to Oxford?” Also, I heard that Grace got 400 in her AS examination last winter and got admitted to Cambridge. That was totally AWESOME. Do I need to get all 100 for my AS in order to get a place at Oxford? I am wondering but that is the real picture. This scares me a lot. I know, statistics does not matter much. But thinking of how many people are being rejected by UK medical school (this is a lot), I need to do something different. What is that? Let me think it through.

     In describing myself, I would say I am a passionate student. Once I know I want that, I would strive no matter what though results does not matter much but action. For the current circumstances it seems like it. In addition to studying normal conservative medical-related subjects Biology, chemistry, mathematics and physicswhich I only chose three of them, I studied Modern European History. Frankly speaking, I am struggling a lot in history. Seriously, I struggled a lot. Maybe my block 2 mates see me as someone capable of doing history, the price of getting that is very high indeed. I am not sure whether I am willing to pay the same price for International History. In fact, I want to try something else before medicine becomes my limiting factor where I have time for nothing but medicine. New language seems good for me. Since I have already acquired the basic proficiency in Arabic Language, Mandarin Chinese, and English, I want to be proficient in Japanese as well. This time I want to aim for real proficiency in addition to enhancing my current language abilities. Also, I want to have a deeper understanding of medicine as a whole that is through health psychology I suppose and specific medical subjects. Seriously, I envy my friends, seniors and even my sister who have already started reading medicine.

     I am quite sceptical if there is anyone who can read every single word up to this point. My assumption is that people will just skim through this. Just face the truth, who would want to read such a lengthy blog? Is this IELTS reading or what? :P It is worth it, especially for my PS. Let us test you reader. Who is the person that got a sum of 400 for all her subjects? If you think you can recall exactly without scrolling upwards, I think I made a good job in creating this essay. L.O.L. Do give me response.

     I don't expect people to read this. So, don't create an impression that I am one of the 'berlagak' people or 'kerek' people. Just keep things as they are. Nothing changes. It is just me exaggerating things. It takes a considerable deal of time to sort out what is real out of my previous post. Well, this is memoir, something that you cannot put complete faith in it. Not because you did not trust that person but because it was written for a purpose which only the writer knows. Nevertheless, you can still take it at face value and it is very important to be in parallel with what you already know about me. [This is what I learnt from history. I have to always being sceptical to people's writing especially if the tone is suspicious.]

Note-to-the-so-called-self:
1. I can't wait for my mum and family to arrive at KLIA. They’ll arrive in an hour perhaps.
2. I am glad that I have a lot of understanding friends, those who do not probe into details what I am facing through. Truly you are my friends as you respect my privacy and I'll do that too. Only if you become a part of my family, the situation changed. To my chalet mate whose room is just in front of mine which I know you wouldn't read this because you are so not into blogging, thanks for pretending that nothings happen in my room even though there is an earthquake in there. [If you happen to read this, please and please pretend that you haven't read this.] hehe..._ _ g_ n
3. Don't write too much. People would never want to read that. (I am definitely not going to follow this! My purpose of writing this blog is not to update about me or something. It is more towards improving me).
4. Don't 'ria`' , 'sum`ah', 'takabbur' and associated stuff.

Anyway, thanks.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
今日から日本語を勉強します。

Tuesday, March 29

Ms. Kylie Cooke: Who is she??

Whilst yesterday I met a biology tutor from Oxford University, today I met a representative from University of Edinburgh. She is working with the international office and specifically responsible for prospective students from Malaysia. Initially, when I attended the talk, I am expecting what she shared with us is just the same as what she had told us last October I reckon. However, there are something new this time around. They only different with her previous visit is her intention and information she had on board. Of course, this time around she came with a handy guide I suppose, for the 2012 entry, which is what I am going to do in the next few months. Let me share some of the contents of the talk which I believed is important for applying there.

First of all, their entry requirements is AAA. Again this is, to my advantage, something different from last year because they no longer required 0.5 subjects. Therefore, I can give my full commitment towards achieving 3A* rather than 4A*. In fact, the English requirement is pretty easy because they only required us to get a good grades for GCSE O-Level English, which I do very well in it with an A1. I am glad that my hardwork during my secondary schools paid off. However, I still have to do well in IELTS because Oxford University still required them. Nevertheless, world is such a nasty place. Only the fittest will survive. (Now I'm talking about the theory of evolution). Therefore, continuous struggle is not something odd or even fatal.

Secondly, they made it clear about their selection process. Throughout this period of 5 months (I think), I have been wondering how do they choose people because they do not interview applicants. That become crystal clear after she clarified to us. the process is as follow.

  1. Minimum requirement
    1. First of all, they would filter out applicants who do not satisfy their minimum entry requirements.
    2. They look on the predicted grade.
    3. For those who do not meet this, I want to say that your journey ends here. Hehe.. Try again next year.
    4. For those who meets or even exceed, you will be given your first internal points. (Later I explained what is the use of this internal point)
  2. UKCAT
    1. Next, you would be required to undertake this entrance test.
    2. Again, you will be given your second internal point based on your UKCAT score.
  3. Personal statement
    1. Here comes the role of your impressive and spectacular personal statement.
    2. They will read through your PS and give your third and final internal point.
    3. They look for relevant work experience, i.e. (according to Ms. Kylie) based on this mnemonics, MACK.
    4. MACK stands for motivation, achievements, commitment and knowledge.
    5. In short, they will look on how well-rounded you are.
  4. Ranking and offers
    1. After you have gone through all three phases, your internal points will be added up and rank according to it.
    2. The top xx would be offered a place but the offer is conditional upon meeting requirements.
    3. xx represent the number of intakes for that particular year.
    4. Beware that there is international quota of only 16 place.
    5. Your conditional offer will be most probably depends on how much predicted grades you present to them. If you put 4, you will be given a higher internal points but of course your conditional offer would higher than applicants who put only three subjects.
    6. So, choose your subjects wisely.
For my case, I think I will only take three subjects, Chemistry, Biology and History. Presumably, I will drop maths. However, I have not decided yet.

Thirdly, in terms of their climate, Scotland, Edinburgh in particular, is not as cold as I have imagined. She showed us a statistics of the fluctuations in max and min temperature throughout the year. I do not know to what extent this is true because I have not find some time to check on it. But that is not a big deal because it wont matter.

Fourthly, when I asked her what kind of system does Edinburgh medical school adheres to, her answer gave me some thing entirely new about choosing medical school. She said actually this does not matter most because usually the medics are only looking towards medicine as a degree regardless of the way it is trained. The only important thing for us to consider is to adapt ourselves to different situations. Again, this remind me of something. Success does not lie on where you are but what you do to achieve it.

I think that's all for today though I am sill tempted to write more. Anyway, this would be enough for me to make sure I retain the information I gained today.

Note-to-self : I've began to see a general pattern in your post. Every time you start explaining new points, you tends to number it. What do you think? Is it great?
My subconscious mind: I am just trying to be organised.
Me:Why don't you come out with some sort of easy-to-read and interactive format.
My subconscious mind: I'll think of it. ya!

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^)
私の文章を読んでくれてありがと
 (わたし)の(ぶんしょう)を(よ)んでくれてありがと。

Monday, March 28

St Anne's College : Oxford university

Today, 3 tutors from St Anne's College, one of them is Dr. Martin Speight, Senior Tutors in the biology department, University of Oxford visited my college together with my super senior, Mishyan Kumar of batch 11 who is currently studying there and is on holiday.

Personally, this a golden opportunity for me to get to know more about University of Oxford and gain a clear picture of what studying there like. I want to share few things that I learnt today.

Firstly, education style in Oxford is entirely self-driven. For medics, you will have quite a heavy workload which comprises of attending lectures, practical labs and the special thing about Oxford, tutor. Its tutorial system is unique and totally not similar to any other universities, I think personally. the reason why I said the style is self-driven is simply due to the nature of the tutorial system which enable us to study matters of personal interest pertaining to our course in greater depth. Annually, there are three 8-week terms which include Michaelmas term (Oct-Nov), Hillary term (Jan-March) and finally Trinity term (April-June). Adding the terms up, we get 24 weeks of classes which means we have  28 weeks of holiday.

Due to the facts that there are lot more holidays than classes, I managed to ask a question about it. What do they expect students to do in these long holidays? Well, the answers are as follow:

1. At each start of the term, there will be Collections (some kind of internal examination). This exam is held by the colleges and would not be used to count the final grades (I doubt it though).

2. We are able to explore and experience the field of our interest in our own time. For example, for the engineering, they would probably spend their time doing internship in major companies. In fact, there are some who works at the supermarket, just to earn extra money for themselves. The activities vary and you can definitely use contacts established by the university to do any kinds of projects or research. Besides, I have read some of the medics went to undergo training at NASA specifically in the field of aeromedicine.

I think this is great because I will have the flexibility to explore things of my interest in greater depth with the aid of prominent figures in related field.

Secondly, they made it clear that they only require three A in A2 examination. So, I could start thinking which subject should I drop in my third semester later on. However, there are some things that I need to prepare. the list are as follow.This is my target by the way.


  1. Obtain predicted grades of at least, A*A*A. Preferably the A* would be chemistry and history but I am going to work for triple A* though my current target is 100 for each and every subjects.
  2. Prepare thoroughly for BMAT. Since it is an aptitude test, you can never really prepared for it in terms of memorising informations but my focus would be enhancing my critical skills and of course enforcing my basics in chemistry, physics, biology and maths.
  3. Read BMJ case reports as often as possible and do something like PBL for them. For the purpose of this, I will need the help of my beloved sister.
  4. Sharpen my observational skill. I still dont have any specific idea to achieve this but I'll work on it.
  5. Improve my communication skills, which include speaking with utmost clarity, in an organised way, free from staggering, relax and the most important thing, enough vocabulary. This also includes listening ability. For this reason, I will train not just me, but also my subconscious mind by listening to The Archers every time I have especially when i'm sleeping. Not just that, I'll start to memorize some simple dialogues from the show.
  6. Update myself on what is happening around the world and how people solve their increasing problems, e.g. The earthquake in Japan and other things like that. I'll do my review on that later on too.
This is just a preliminary list that I could think of at the moment.
Insya Allah, in few days time, I'll come up with something more organised.

Thirdly, they are not expecting us to say what we think they want us to say. Just stick to our own opinions and views in the day-to-day lives. In fact, be a little bit more aggressive. In general, just be genuine. Don't make things up and just be yourself. For this reason too, I am going to start my soul searching right after trial. I'll come out with the time line soon and work it out.

Fourthly, the success rates for those applying for medicine here is terribly low, around 5-10%. Nevertheless, if you don't apply, the success rates would be zero. I deliberately and consciously know that this is damn hard but let us not put our faith in statistics but put our faith in Allah. If this offer is meant for us, it will never go away. If it isn't, just accept the way it is. Allah knows best what for us. Above all, you want to be a doctor. So, where you gain the qualifications doesn't matter. You may be studying elsewhere but your spirit, energy and qualities are in par with the one who studies in Oxford. Remember, it is you who matter most. I would always remember that, my father's word.

Fifthly, I should start studying smart for my A-Level because life is not just about passing A-Level but a broader prospect will show us that the only purpose of life is to gain Allah's pleasure. From now on also, let me foster my intention that my struggle is directed only towards achieving this intention.  Anything that come across in my journey, I will go through that with Allah by my side. Insya Allah.

I think that's it for now. Insya Allah, my sharing is not just for me but also to anyone who find it useful. Please leave your critics or anything that can help me further.

Note-to-self : This is a completely spontaneous writing. You should improvise it by putting more thoughts of it's practicality.
Tadi, baru je habis buat speaking test. Alhamdulillah, semuanya smooth cume kena improve dari segi mengatasi gemuruh.


Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^)
 私の文章を読んでくれてありがと。
(わたし)の(ぶんしょう)を(よ)んでくれてありがと。

First Night at KYUEM

Hey everyone!!
Thanks again for reading my blog.
Yesterday, right at 2.15 pm, I successfully arrived KYUEM.
After a short rest at my lovely room, my mother, father, grandmother and my youngest brother made their way home.
There is so much things happening this holiday and I will try to write it in short later on.

First of all, i'm going to have my AS mock examination on 4th April until 15th April but I'm very lucky to have such an easy schedule which means i have a lot of time to prepare. This also means that i dont have any reasons for not getting 100 this time.

Secondly, I received a feedback from a friend of mine stating that my mind is too 'history'. Well, the reason for publishing that is just for easy retrieval because if i put it in documents, i in the future will forget about it. Anyway, a good comment though. I'll try to reduce that OK.

Thirdly, i've renewed my visions and of course i want to keep it secret for now. Perhaps when the time has come, i'll share my renewed vision to you but there are clues around my blog (if you desperate to know).

Fourthly, finally, I got some general and particular idea on how to go about PBL. It is interesting because back those days, i was reading case reports without knowing organised way to learn medical things. However, after a long downloading time (still not finished yet because the internet is super "fast" like snail), i will insya Allah start doing it right after my mock examination.

I think thats it for now. Well, i could still clearly heard a fight i overheard this morning.. hehe.. want to know about that? wait for my next post.
Thank you.
どもうありがと

P/s: I want to post pictures but the internet is so 'fast' that even the normal windows to insert pics appears blank (even after i wait for quite some time). I'll do it in the ICT class later on.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^)
私の文章を読んでくれてありがと。
(わたし)の(ぶんしょう)を(よ)んでくれてありがと。

Thursday, March 24

Napoleon : To what extent he maintains the ideal of the French Revolution

The Ideals of the French Revolution

Liberty leading the people : This painting is a symbolical view of the principles that uphold the ideals of the French Revolution
Throughout the periods of 1789-99, there are various types of government which characterize the ideals of the French Revolution.

The first phase which started at the moment when the Estates-General convene for the first time since1614 on 5th May 1789. This made clear for the principles of:
  1. Sovereignty lies in the people
  2. Representatives of the people
  3. Liberty
  4. Equality
  5. Fraternity

Soon after, the same principles were being uphold but at different approach. During the reign of terror, the normal functioning of the government had to be suspended in order to counter the problems faced by the revolutionaries, i.e. threat of war.

During the period when the Directory was in control of the administration(1794-99), they clung tightly on the principles.

To what extent he maintains the ideal of the French Revolution

And here comes the question, after the successful Coup of Brumaire, to what extent Napoleon maintain these ideals? This question prompted wide debate because throughout the period of his reign (1799-1815), he made a plethora of statements that prompted question on his intention to maintain these ideals.
A cartoon depicting Napoleon's strength compared to the rest of the deputies of the Council of  Ancients.
Though there was an exaggeration on his opponent strength, this was a clear picture of what was happening in 1799.

Therefore, we would then investigate various aspects of Napoleon's rule and then decide on which side was he actually is and of course, the extent to which he maintains the ideals of the French Revolution.

Let us interpret this question in the light of what he claimed himself to be.

1. The heir of the revolution
> Meaning: He upholds completely the ideals that underlie the French Revolution.

> Evidence

  • The things that he preserved from the 1790s
    • liberty
    • equality
    • popular sovereignty
    • support given to property-owners
  • Feudalism, which was abolished during the course of the revolution was kept that way. In fact, the abolition was written into law.
  • The biens nationaux (the Church and aristocratic land sold during the revolution), were to remain in the hand of those who purchased them.
  • The law granted  equality and religious tolerations.
The last three claimed was strong and clear however, these measures were in reality directed towards consolidating his power. Later claimed was less secure.
  • Position in the government was open to those with talent and ability
    • Most important military and administrative posts were mainly held by the nobles and the bourgeoisie with the latter dominated most of the post.
    • Peasants could only rise so far.
    • Industry and trade were run by a small handful of old families, while money was still needed to buy into a profession and civil service
    • There was a continuity of personnel from the Directory into Napoleon's consulate.
    • The great majority of prefects, or members of the Tribunate or Legislature, had taken part in the revolutionary assemblies or had held post in senior administrative post before Napoleon's successful coup.

2. The protagonist

> Evidence :

  • Libertarian freedom (freedoms and liberty which had been claimed during the Revolution) was not in favour
    • Because:
    • Government became increasingly authoritarian
    • Spies and censors were out in force through the role of prefects and secret police.
    • Napoleon's justification : People wanted firm leadership and his actions suited their interest by allowing him to have strong grip on this expanding empire
    • These measures were directed towards the establishment of absolute government (quite similar to the Ancien Regime) which was indeed far more than countering the less centralised and more devolved power exercised by the directory.
    • Even though the constitution of 1799 had granted vote to millions but the nature of the complex voting system concentrated the power at the top.
There were very few checks and balance of his power.
  • Council of state was very much in his control to carry out business (similar to the role of Bourbon Royal Council).
  • In the period of the Ancien Regime, provincial administration was carried out by intendants but in Napoleon's reign, prefects went much further than the intendants.
    • They had the power to select the local council.
    • Run various crucial functions e.g. tax collection and conscription.
3. Napoleon was neither an heir nor a protagonist to the Revolution but a bridge between those two.

>He maintained or abandoned the ideals of the Revolution according to his needs
>He maintained the ideals when he needed to regain and maintain the loyalty of the people.
>He abandoned them when he needed to impose his authority at home in order to pursue growth of the empire and military conquest.

To put it into a 3-page essay, I will then arrange these points in a way that make sense for me to recall in 5 minutes time.


Question:
How far did Napoleon Bonaparte maintains the ideals of the French Revolution during the period 1799-1815?

Introduction
The ideals : 
  • Popular sovereignty (based on universal suffrage)
  • Liberty (Freedom to pursue matters of own interest)
  • Equality (Open to all)
Aims:
Look at various actions Napoleon was taking to achieve a particular purpose.

How these actions related to the ideals of the French Revolution (supporting the revolution or restoring the Ancien Regime)
The aims that Napoleon trying to achieve :

  • Maintaining the loyalty of the people
  • Consolidating Napoleon's power
  • Centralizing Napoleon's power
Point 1 : Maintaining the loyalty of the people

>The new constitution of 1799
>Napoleon signed a concordat with Pope Pius VII (1801)
        Content:
               Recognised Pope's position as the head of Church
               The state would pay salary to the clergy

Point 2 : Consolidating Napoleon's power

>Voting system.
        At grass roots level, 6 millions male voters were eligible to vote. (universal suffrage to people)
       However, the complexity - concentrated power at the top.
>Education policies
       For the children of the notables
>The role of Tribunates and Legislatures

Point 3: Centralizing Napoleon's power

> Establish prefects to patrol provincial administration
           Provide information on opposition to Napoleon, choose local council, responsible for censorship
>Establish 'secret police'
           to defeat rebellions
           spread government propaganda
           act as Napoleon's informer
               

Conclusion
The extent : to a lesser extent
Reasons :

  • His main focus was not maintaining the ideals
  • His actions were directed towards creating the great French Empire. Look at the glorious Charlemagne's empire
  • His various statement regarding his position in light of the ideals of the Revolution, was a justification of his actions at that particular time

The End !!



Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^)
This information is a part of my preparation for the upcoming AS examination.
Feel free to give me any comments or critics.

Tuesday, March 22

Russia : Episode 1

Stability of the Tsarist Regime 
This post has nothing to do with my day-to-day life, I mean, I was not involve in this particular event. I just want to share my newly-acquired knowledge of the Russian society and later the creation of USSR.
This is the Tsar that I am going to refer to onwards, Tsar Nicholas II
 Question:
     How stable was the Tsarist regime in Russia on the eve of the First World War in 1914?

Introduction
Stable?
In order to measure how stable a regime is, one should consider:
    1. The threat the regime is facing
    2. How the rulers tackle those emerging problems and oppositions

This essay would definitely see these two key points in the light of three major group which present a threat to the Tsarist regime which include:


  1. The peasants
  2. The reformist middle class
  3. The working class

Application process

So, kali ni, saya nak ceritakan serba sedikit tentang permohonan ke university di UK. Secara dasarnya, semua application perlu melalui UCAS (University and Colleges Admission Services). lebih kurang macam UPU kat Malaysia.

Tetapi ada beberapa restrictions yang perlu dipatuhi. Untuk kos perubatan, daripada 5 pilihan yang diberi, hanya 4 pilihan sahaja yang boleh diisi dengan kos perubatan. Berbeza dengan UPU, UCAS membolehkan kita untuk mendapat sehingga 5 tawaran untuk satu-satu masa. Dengan ertikata lain, kita juga boleh langsung tidak menerima sebarang tawaran. Jadi pemilihan haruslah bijak.

New Face??

Masuk hari ni, dah lebih kurang 8 bulan blog ni x diupdate. Bukannya x nak, tp rasanya kesibukan di kolej membatasi masa untuk berblogging. Alasan je ni.

Apa-apa pun, saya dah pun mencecah umur 19 tahun beberapa hari yang lepas. Jadi eloklah kiranya kita mulakan hidup baru yang lebih matang dan selesa.

Jadi saya ingin mulakan dengan berkongsi cerita apa yang berlaku di KYUEM sejak saya mula mendaftarkan diri iaitu pada 20 Julai 2010. Mudah-mudahan membantu saya untuk menulis 'personal statement' nanti.

Cerita pasal personal statement ni, banyak betul kerja yang perlu dibuat. Kita listkan dulu ea, (ni kebanyakannya ikut Mdm. Madeline):

1. Soul searching
    Teliti kembali sejarah saya masa kecil2 dulu. Apa yang saya masih ingat sebenarnya agak limited. tp yang
    pasti saya suka kumpul sticker pokemon pastu tampal kat buku die. dah kumpul banyak2, tebus utk dapat 
    mainan. haaa. tak pernah dapat pun. Apa-apa pun saya akan berusaha untuk mengingati kembali menerusi 
    blog ni.

2. Draft personal statement
    Ni lah part yang paling memenatkan. nak kena tulis pastu make sure abide the maximum length of words of 
    roughly 700 words. ni jugak part yang paling penting sebab inilah asas yang akan digunakan untuk 
    menyenarai pendek siapa yang akan dipanggil untuk temuduga.(temuduga ni untuk kos perubatan je. kos 
    lain kebanyakannya x perlu) cerita pasal interview ni, teringat kat zamri. hari ni dia di interview oleh 
    Imperial College London. Good luck ye.. Doakan saya jugak ye nanti.

Yang specialnya utk kos perubatan kat UK ni, pihak universiti ada kuota masing-masing. tp universiti yang saya nak pergi ni sikit betul kuotanya. 7 orang je maksimum intake untuk international student. dah lah sikit je kuota, kena plak fly ke sana untuk interview. Kena amik BMAT lg. Apa-apa pun saya redha shj sebab dalam berusaha insya Allah ada keberkatannya. 

Inilah antara universiti yang saya nak apply utk entry 2012

Universiti ni lah yang kuotanya terlalulah sedikit. Maksimum 7 org. tp biasanya dia akan ambil dalam 3-4 orang shj.

Universiti ni pulak pilihan saya selepas Oxford sebab lokasi dia kat London.

Universiti ni kat Scotland. tempat yang paling sejuk jika dibandingkan dengan universiti2 pilihan saya yang lain.

Universiti ni pun antara pilihan saya sebab menawarkan approach secara pbl.

Rasanya, cukup lah sekadar ini sahaja untuk hari ni. Lepas ni saya cerita secara detail proses permohonannya pulak.

Note-to-self : When are you going to start using proper English language? Abah dah 'sound' dh pasal English kan? Saya jawab: x pe. post ni je rojak sikit. nnt saya improve dlm post2 akan datang ye.


DrSyafQ.92 (^-^)