Thursday, May 26

Remarks on statistics

Hey there!
When you reading this, I'm probably in Chemistry Lab 2 doing my paper 3. So pray for me that I am doing the right thing.

Statistics, as usual is always something unexpected. I knew that from the day I studied permutation and combination last October. Ignore that. Today's statistics paper is really challenging. I'm glad that at least I could answer all of them.

The problem is I am not 100% sure of my answer. That's what makes statistics really challenging. You know it is right but at times it isn't. Even though I have put in  a lot of thought on the questions from every possible point of view, I could only gained 75% confidence. The rest, I doubt my choice of method.

Method wise, I'm not so concern about it. It is the choice of method that bothers me a lot. That agonising thought overwhelmed me these past 3 hours before my chemistry practicals. I have to forget it for a while, for the sake of my next exam.

Regardless of what I answer, right now the only thing that I could do is to trust my instinct and my judgement. I think it is the best thing to do. Insya Allah. May Allah be with me in my decisions and judgement.

That's it for now.
じゃあ。

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^)
私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
化学が好きだ。数学も好きだ。でも。。。。

Wednesday, May 25

Obsession vs Interest vs Need Part 2

Hey there!
You readers must be wondering why all of a sudden I change the appearance of my blog. Well, that's not the point I am going to make today. Let just save it for another day.

Let us now continue with the need. It changes depending on the current situation and your observation.
For instance, in a society where there are many people who have so much doubt on the 'halal' status, it is essential for me to occupy this vacant by being a food technologist or food producer or something.
(Just an example. Doesn't mean that I am changing my mind to something other than medicine.)

If I do not choose to be any one of these, will these problems resolved? Definitely not. It is about thinking big, for the benefit of every single person in a society. In a way, it has many parallels with 'فرض الكفاية'.

Putting these three terms in context, I could now proceed to the argument. The choice of career. What is the most important factor to consider out of these three options? For me, it must definitely be something in between interest and need.
Why not obsession? Isn't it suppose to be obsession? So that you can have all the energy to focus on one particular field? 
Well, it is worth taking note of the temporary nature of obsession. This, however, doesn't mean that you can't do what you enjoy most. I'm just saying that you can't bring your obsession to the extent of making it as a career. Clear enough?
Interest and need, in the other hand, are far more stable than obsession. You got to work for maybe 30 to 40 years and it is very important to choose something that self-sustained. You know why you work for. You know how to not feeling down when you are feeling down. Even if you don't know, you will definitely want to find a way of how to do it.
To make it short, it contains the driving factor. The one that keeps your motivation to the highest possible level.  والله أعْلم

For me, the reason why I want to be a doctor is not just because I am fascinated in the science of human being. That is absolutely true. But also I want to contribute towards improving the efficiency of Malaysian Healthcare system. I know that it is improving even without me in it.
But I want to change it in a way like what previous muslim scholars did like Ibnu Sina and Al-Razi. It's not about how they do things in the past. Its the spirit that I want to include in the healthcare. How they able to master in many field other than medicine. Something that is lacking in our societies, presumably.
For that reason too, I want to become masters in many field, not just medicine but islamic revealed knowledge, languages, arts and even music. The reason for that is not to gain names or awards or noble prize. I'm just holding this kind of thought that with knowledge, we became closer to Allah.
That's it. It may sounds to ideological but I'm going to be someone like Lenin in the way that change Marxism into something more practical. Now it is the matter of doing things.
I might make mistakes along the way but it is not something to be afraid of. It is something to learn.
Also, this is the reason why I want to study in Oxford University as it gives me greater opportunity to indulge in many different things. The problem is how do I put this into words to people? NVM save this for another post.

Note-to-self:
1. Done with fundamental reason for choosing medicine. Let us then considers it in more details.
2. Statistics is just tomorrow. Be prepared mentally and physically and make sure to think it through logically and be extra careful. I know you can do it.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
明日数学と化学の試験が始める。そして成功に向かおうぞ。君も!

Tuesday, May 24

Advanced Biology Practical Examination 生物の試験

Hi there!
Again....
I've noticed some general pattern on my blog.
It's like writing a textbook or something.I hope in the first place it would be my memoirs of school life but it seems to me that it is not. (Just like what great leadersaround the world did from the 18th century. Should I write things more informal?
That something I should improve on, I guess.

For today, I've just finished with my biology practical paper. I was completely satisfied with it though I am not very sure with my drawing of xylem thickening. Before I continue any further, I would like to remind you readers, especially the one who noticed how fast I updated my blog this morning to stop reading up to this point because I know you did not want to discuss any of the questions any more. However, it is up to you.

I felt like I am some kind of botanist and that kind of feeling was awesome. This is one of the reasons why I like biology so much. I was given a piece of information which included several plant activities on summer, spring and winter. Frankly speaking, I haven't thought of this before. Four samples are taken from the root and phloem sap of one particular (not specified in the exam) plant in these seasons. The task was to identify which sample belongs to which part of the plant. So, I had to design tests to identify if there were any starch, sucrose and glucose.

That was the first question. The second question is far more interesting. We were given a piece of an organ of a plant. From its appearance, I suspected it is some kind of storage leaves. Then we had to cut a section that would enable us to see under the microscope for sure, the different thickening in the xylem. Then we had to draw them. That was the question. Enough with this academic stuff.

The point here is, we will always encounter something we do not really know or something we briefly know especially for career as a doctor. During my attachment, I managed to talk to this one IMU student. He is in his 3rd year of MBBS and presumably is on his clinical study. He said that the case that he is presented does not necessarily something they had already studied in real depth. As far as exam is concerned, they could ask you anything under the sun as long as it has relevance to the area being studied even if the overlap is just 1%. So, the secret is we must able to dissect the presented problems into smaller volumes that we could solve it one-by-one. Sounds idealistic isn't it? But it is worth the hassle.

For that reason, I have started pondering on the possibility of choosing universities whose approach is problem-based learning such as University of Manchester or University of Liverpool. However, the real thing is even if the programme is traditional or module-based, there will always an element of PBL. My conclusion at this point is that all universities are just equal. Doesn't matter whether you study at Harvard Medical School or Brighton-Sussex Medical School, as long as it has been recognised by PSD, we will do just fine. More importantly, we ourselves. How do we adapt with the rapid advancement? That is a question that only we ourselves can answer it.

However, we should also take notes of our human sides. Some of us prefer to study in top notch university just because they sounds great and refuse to do so if they get low class universities. I am talking this based on my experience. There is no need for me to publicly say it because in the end it depends on individuals. Also, some prefers to study in the country side because it is more peaceful. There is never a right or wrong answer to this question.

The only thing that I want to emphasise is the end point. As long as we kept our intention of studying for the sake of Allah it would be just fine. What does that mean? Perhaps the acquisition of knowledge is one of the ways to be close to Allah but never confine ourselves to just one way of thinking. Consider everything and decide on which one suits your circumstances. Also, this means that we have to be a competent doctor not just one who do things half-heartedly so that our efforts are insignificant. It is true that we do not expect for praise. But it is also important to give the best quality service.

To sum up everything, I know the title does not really suits what I am writing now but this is just something from my point of view. If It is wrong, do correct it.

Note-to-self:
1. I want to indulge in something new after this, writing a short story.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Obsession vs Interest vs Need

Hey there!
The reason why I am writing this entry is to prevent myself from sleeping in the morning.
I knew that I sort of ruining my daily routine by keeping on sleeping late and also sleep after subuh.
Truly, it is bad for you especially in nurturing your motivation.

The point that I am going to make this morning is something about obsession, interest and Need. Are they the same thing? Let us define these three terms first. According to Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary 8th Edition, obsession is a state in which a person's mind is completely filled with thoughts of one particular thing or person in a way that is not normal. Interest is the feeling that you have when you want to know or learn more about something or somebody. Need is a strong feeling that you want something or a situation in which something is necessary or must be done.

To make it example, obsession and interest are quite similar and both contradicts with need. However, in deciding future career, which one is the most important factors? Of course, most of us would say interest. Is that justified?

Let us examine these three factors in more details. Obsession is definitely a stronger sense of interest in which someone is completely overwhelmed with something or somebody. Is that a healthy way of life? To be frank, obsession is just seasonal. You may like k-pop so much now but for the next few years, are you still going to like it? Not necessarily. Even a single song that you like to hear everyday and night would be bored sooner or later. The fact is everything in the world is temporary.

Is the same case applies to interest? In a way that you have a passion for something, yes. But the different thing about interest is the extent to which it passions something. For instance, you have so much interest in writing that you never get bored doing it your entire life. For me, I see interest as something sustainable, not just by itself but you yourself because you always want to do it no matter how much you have already done it. Also, it does not occupy most of your daily routine but it remains significant in your life. When thinking of myself, I definitely have a lot of obsession and interest, something that at the being, I don't want to share with you, readers. Let those who observe knows.

Anyway, I am thinking of getting rid of all of my unhealthy obsession and choose the beneficial one to convert it into interest so that I can live a meaningful life. This notion in a sense is parallel to the need. In my current circumstances, what is the need?

Its already 8.00 o'clock in the morning and I better get my breakfast before the dining hall close. Therefore, I will continue the discussion on obsession, interest and need in the next post. Also, I am going to sit for biology practical examination at 11.00 this morning. Wish me luck too.

Note-to-self:
1. You have reach your 10-minute limit. So stop typing now.
2. Get rid of unnecessary routine.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
強迫観念「きょうはくかんえん」obsession
金利 「きんり」interest
必要「ひつよう」need

Monday, May 23

PBL

Hey there!
Again, it is me.
Right now, I'm in a very good mood because of few things I did few hours ago.
Now I knew, in order to survive we must be aggressive. Well, that would be my approach from now onwards. What is PBL get to do with aggressiveness?

My definition for aggressiveness is something like being proactive. PBL is a part of that. Therefore, that is what I am going to apply in my A-Level study and also my self-study. So, what is PBL?

PBL stands for problem-based learning. It means from a given problem, we should dissect it into many small parts and then work it out from there and create a bigger picture out of that.

For example, suppose there is a 50-year-old lady with a background of Perthes disease and multiple bilateral hip revisions presented with symptoms of right hip pain. This is just a part of the problem. Let us now dissect it.

First, we need to know what is Perthes disease and multiple bilateral hip revisions. Start with looking the dictionary. Secondly, look on relevant anatomical structures. Study them thoroughly. Then look at physiological process associated with these two abnormalities and note what should happen in the first place. Done with that, proceed with treatment and finally drugs and their pharmacokinetics.

This is just a basic outline of what PBL is according to my understanding. Credits to Dr. Nadiah. The best thing about PBL is that it keeps my interest because there are many terms which I do not understand. Therefore, I am more tempted to find out about them rather than to be informed about these difficult terms.

Alhamdulillah, this exam reveals my true side. I realised how passionate I am towards medicine. Therefore, I will do whatever I can to make full use of this. My next project is something about the pre-med club. To be exact, I want to indulge in more volunteering works. Who want to join me? Do tell me ok so that we can plan it together. I am done for now. Bye.

Note-for-self:
1. Start reading medical stuff from now on.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
私は医者になりたい。これから成功へすすめ。

Sunday, May 22

Finally「やっと」

     As the title suggests, finally I had something to write about in this post. These past few days, I have been busy with my exam and still the case for the next three weeks. On the first week, P1 kicked off with little drag, I suppose. Then, the sandwich began. Thanks to KD for introducing this term. Basically, it means three papers in a row. Starting with chemistry paper 2 on Monday, Modern European History on Tuesday, and Biology paper 2 on Wednesday. However, the friction is greater than P1. Nevertheless, life moves on as usual but more intense with me spending most of my time in the room.

     Also, I realised many things about myself and my career during this sandwich. The kind of pressure I am in reminds me of my future career. Would it be this hard? Yes, it is hard in fact harder than what I am enduring now. Therefore, I start questioning my intention to be a doctor. Are you up for the job? Fortunately for me, I still feel the same feeling. Indeed, I want to be a doctor and to be exact, a neurosurgeon. At this point, second question overwhelmed my thoughts. How do I fit myself into one of the competitive medical school and specifically Oxford Medical School? The more I think, the more my mind tends towards passion in medicine. In fact, when Mr Brookes was demoralising the Oxbridge applicants who are thinking of applying PPE, Law etc., I realised I should do something to show how passionate I am in medicine.

     Some people asked me, "Why do you want to go to Oxford? Why not Cambridge? Isn't it easier to apply to Cambridge rather than to Oxford?” Also, I heard that Grace got 400 in her AS examination last winter and got admitted to Cambridge. That was totally AWESOME. Do I need to get all 100 for my AS in order to get a place at Oxford? I am wondering but that is the real picture. This scares me a lot. I know, statistics does not matter much. But thinking of how many people are being rejected by UK medical school (this is a lot), I need to do something different. What is that? Let me think it through.

     In describing myself, I would say I am a passionate student. Once I know I want that, I would strive no matter what though results does not matter much but action. For the current circumstances it seems like it. In addition to studying normal conservative medical-related subjects Biology, chemistry, mathematics and physicswhich I only chose three of them, I studied Modern European History. Frankly speaking, I am struggling a lot in history. Seriously, I struggled a lot. Maybe my block 2 mates see me as someone capable of doing history, the price of getting that is very high indeed. I am not sure whether I am willing to pay the same price for International History. In fact, I want to try something else before medicine becomes my limiting factor where I have time for nothing but medicine. New language seems good for me. Since I have already acquired the basic proficiency in Arabic Language, Mandarin Chinese, and English, I want to be proficient in Japanese as well. This time I want to aim for real proficiency in addition to enhancing my current language abilities. Also, I want to have a deeper understanding of medicine as a whole that is through health psychology I suppose and specific medical subjects. Seriously, I envy my friends, seniors and even my sister who have already started reading medicine.

     I am quite sceptical if there is anyone who can read every single word up to this point. My assumption is that people will just skim through this. Just face the truth, who would want to read such a lengthy blog? Is this IELTS reading or what? :P It is worth it, especially for my PS. Let us test you reader. Who is the person that got a sum of 400 for all her subjects? If you think you can recall exactly without scrolling upwards, I think I made a good job in creating this essay. L.O.L. Do give me response.

     I don't expect people to read this. So, don't create an impression that I am one of the 'berlagak' people or 'kerek' people. Just keep things as they are. Nothing changes. It is just me exaggerating things. It takes a considerable deal of time to sort out what is real out of my previous post. Well, this is memoir, something that you cannot put complete faith in it. Not because you did not trust that person but because it was written for a purpose which only the writer knows. Nevertheless, you can still take it at face value and it is very important to be in parallel with what you already know about me. [This is what I learnt from history. I have to always being sceptical to people's writing especially if the tone is suspicious.]

Note-to-the-so-called-self:
1. I can't wait for my mum and family to arrive at KLIA. They’ll arrive in an hour perhaps.
2. I am glad that I have a lot of understanding friends, those who do not probe into details what I am facing through. Truly you are my friends as you respect my privacy and I'll do that too. Only if you become a part of my family, the situation changed. To my chalet mate whose room is just in front of mine which I know you wouldn't read this because you are so not into blogging, thanks for pretending that nothings happen in my room even though there is an earthquake in there. [If you happen to read this, please and please pretend that you haven't read this.] hehe..._ _ g_ n
3. Don't write too much. People would never want to read that. (I am definitely not going to follow this! My purpose of writing this blog is not to update about me or something. It is more towards improving me).
4. Don't 'ria`' , 'sum`ah', 'takabbur' and associated stuff.

Anyway, thanks.

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。
今日から日本語を勉強します。