Wednesday, October 26

Clueless, restless and ......

Hey there!
We meet again.
I guess I haven't written anything for quite some time.
However, driven by excessive caffeine in my system, I think I should transfer the  caffeine excitation to do something beneficial rather than wasting time.

Right, I am actually in the brink of a very important examination called BMAT. I am completely aware of how much more do I need to do for it however after drinking 5 packets of nescafe in 8 hours, I felt excited that it is hard for me to focus on one thing. Note-to-self: excessive caffeine is not good. It does not just keep you awake but disturb your attention span. Seriously, that is what I am feeling now. Anyway, it made me thinking. Do I really want to be a doctor?

I always get caught in this kind of situation where you are doubt of your own decision. Sometimes I really am intrigued to read medical literature. However, that stays true for 55% of my time. The rest goes to either watching anime, programming, studying non A-Level stuff or sleep. The moment when I think I do not feel the desire to pursue medicine is killing me really. Glad that it only happens once in a while. I guess 5 years of medical school later on will show my true path whether I am really suitable for medicine. Just wait for the time to reveal the real you.

Even though I have a clearly defined ambition of being a doctor with so many reasons for it, sometimes I feel restless. Couples up with restless leg syndrome which I think I am suffering now, I want to be a normal me. When I am trying to define a normal me, I am just clueless. For the treatment, I guess I have to go swimming this evening to unwind for a while but the problem is I have already wasted a lot of time doing BMAT-unrelated stuff. Syafiq, you should WAKE UP. BMAT is just around the corner. (ignore it if you are not me. Obviously, all of you readers are not me)

More dawdling. Stop if you bored. You will get more boring after this fullstop.

Haha. :P

Before I end up this not-so-productive post, I just want to outline few things that I have gone through before. (Since my sister just text me to update my blog). Maybe I tell more later on when this annoying muscle twitching all over my body has gone.

  1. I have just gone through an Oxford Mock Interview session with Mr Tony Finch, a mathematicians and Cambridge alumni.
  2. I have just finished my semester 3 examination.
  3. I gave a talk to SMS Rembau last Sunday. Everything turns out well especially the fact that I get to drive Gen 2 to Rembau. It is a wonderful experience driving that car.
You know what, I feel like I want to study in Newcastle University Medical School Malaysian Campus (NUMED). Seriously! Going oversea is very tiring.
Bye!

Just to tell you readers that I am definitely not losing confidence of myself. This is what I am feeling right now. So, do not assume that I do not want to go oversea. I never said that it is just my inclination now is towards studying in Malaysia. I have my own personal reason really but still the desire to go to UK is very high. Just hope that Allah gives the best opportunity for me not to just pursue medicine but also to pursue my other areas of interest at the same time.

じゃあまたね!

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。

Thursday, October 6

Lepas Geram

Ok. Since motif post hari ni nak lepaskan geram, maka saya beri amaran. Apa yang saya bakal tulis mungkin agak bias dan tidak semestinya memberikan gambaran umum tentang sesuatu perkara. Cukuplah sekadar anda mengetahui bahawa ini merupakan salah satu cebisan dalam pengalaman hidup saya yang sungguh kerdil ini.

Apa-apapun, perkara pertama yang menyebabkan saya stress tak tentu pasal ni adalah 'the fact that JPA did not recognised my fifth choice'. To some people, this might just be a small matter because they knew how I am dying to be a doctor. However, if you know me close enough you should know how much this choice means to me. This is indeed the turning point that I had purposely set up so that the decision will be made by the Almighty God. Now that I have been writing this, I think that Allah surely wants me to go directly through undergraduate medical school because everything happens with Allah's permission. Now that I realised it I feel much better. But looking back, I have a small regret for sure. However, do believe that Allah knows best.

Rasanya, itu sahaja kali ini. Title je mcm gempak tapi isi, kosong. Sori lah, terexaggerate over plak tyme intro td... Ye la! Bila fikir-fikir balik, something would not happen if Allah do not allows it to happen, kn? Mungkin Allah cuba tetapkan visi saya pada satu arah je kot. Mesti ada hikmah, Insya Allah...

Dr SyafQ.92 - 4A* - (^-^) 私の文書を読んでくれてありがと。